Being Mum, Being Me

Being organised days

Some days it can feel like everything is going wrong, taking ages and nothing seems to get finished. On days like that it’s ok to just give in and know that the list of jobs will get done in the end.

But then there are the ‘organised days’! Days you just end up getting sh*t done! I love these days. These are the days when you wake up knowing exactly what jobs need to get done. You manage to get up and ready without too many distractions or interruptions and breakfast is done and cleared up before you’ve even finished your first coffee.

Being organised isn’t always about having a list of jobs or laying out the kids clothes the night before. It’s about knowing what you need to get done and having the energy and enthusiasm to get it done. On my organised days I’m able to keep up with putting the toys away as we go along, able to put three meals on the table that don’t end up all over the floor and get to enjoy a few moments to myself to have a little me time. I manage to get dressed and look like a presentable person again, get to drink a whole cuppa before it goes cold and get to keep the house looking somewhat presentable.

As a working mum I manage to get myself and little one out the door roughly on time and manage to get through a busy day at work with it’s own never ending list of jobs to do. All of this, of course, goes alongside the usual ‘mum-ing’ that comes with having a toddler. Picking up my son on the way home my mind busies with the evening routine of cooking, playing, laughing, tidying up, bathing, cuddles, reading, singing and bedtime routine before thinking about what needs doing for the next day.

So if all the jobs aren’t completed by the end of the day it’s important to remember all the little things that were completed. Helping a little one learn, grow, discover, laugh and feel loved is the most important job on the list each day.

Mum’s often judge ourselves harshly and compare ourselves to others, looking at pictures on instagram and hearing interviews on the TV of mum’s who manage to keep their house like a show-home while painting, play-doughing and making a three course meal. We find ourselves being disappointed by the list we haven’t yet done and forget all that we have accomplished that day. Even on the ‘un-organised’ days you’ve managed to do more than you realise. Remember that you wouldn’t criticize others if they told you about their day so why judge yourself harshly?

Grateful days

It’s important to be grateful each and everyday. There are so many reasons to be grateful even on those down days when it feels like the universe is against you. Well, speaking from experience, it’s on those days it’s especially important to show gratitude as the change your mindset goes through when you do… is a calming sense of peace that you might not have even known you needed.

So grab a coffee and and take a moment to think about what you are grateful for right here, right now. It might surprise you how many things you can think of!

What made you smile today?

Who are you grateful to have in your life?

What did it feel like when you smiled?

How did you overcome your worries today?

What were you able to do today that your didn’t expect to be able to?

What chances were you given today?

How can you spend the rest of the day being mindful of gratitude?

Adventure days

Do you ever just catch yourself looking out the window? Daydreaming…thinking of all the things that you could or should be doing? It’s time to stop thinking and day dreaming and do something.

While my little one naps I’m in need of taking a minute to stop, snuggle up with a cuppa and to listen to the rain. It’s when I finally stop like this for those few magical moments of mummy-me-time that I start to think about all the things I should or could be doing. I don’t mean the washing up or ironing or painting over all the scuff marks on the walls. I mean the things that make being a mum fun. Planning those little moments of discovery and amazement when my little on sees, hears or feels something that blows his little mind!

I’ve always been a fair-weather type of person. If it’s hot and sunny i’m outside and the rest of the time, even on a sunny but chilly day I’m firmly wrapped up in my comfies and in the warmth and dry of home. Being a mum has taught me that I can no longer cling to my comforts and it’s time to get out and explore. As I sit with my cuppa day-dreaming of places to get out to, it strikes me that it’s actually simpler than we think.

I was blessed with a boy. A boy who loves being out in the fresh air, picking up sticks, rolling in the mud and being a home-removal guy for snails! He absolutely loves it and although it’s far from my idea of fun, the look on his little face it just magical. When he babbles to me saying ‘erdie’ every time he hears or sees a bird fly by, when he sees a frog and pretends to jump, when he picks up similar looking sticks and makes a pile of them it may seem like absolutely nothing but to him it’s a whole imaginary world of fun.

These early experiences are so crucial to children’s development and where we live is an abundance of missed opportunities. There is so much on our doorstep that we see and so much more that we don’t. Whether you have a garden, balcony or whether you go exploring for your adventures remember not to miss the little things.

We are so lucky to have parks, lakes, fields, hills and even a beach nearby and these places are perfect for little ones. Let your little one explore them in the sunshine and in the rain. But when you let them go off the beaten track and explore the things they would miss other wise it’s a whole new world of adventure. Look for the places where others don’t go and make them your own.

Going out with your little one doesn’t have to be about going far, going to a hotspot or spending money. There’s enough around where we live to explore, learn, grow and have some quality time together. Watch your little ones reactions and expressions, share their enthusiasm and revel in the memories your making.

Get your sun cream/welly-boots/umbrella ready and go make your family memories in a local area with far more to offer than you think.

Tired Days

Fresh cuppa tea made, a large one now I have a few moments to actually drink it in peace. Curled up on the sofa, blanket on to snuggle up, easy-to-watch telly in the background and drifting in and out of thought. The baby monitor next to me starts to stir and that’s it. Little man is awake and not happy about it. Some wake up are ‘happy’ and full of baby chatter and play, some are ‘moany’ wake ups with nothing but squirming wiggles and on/off fake cries.

On tired days like these it seems almost impossible to peel myself off the sofa to get my baby and cuddle up. It takes every bit of mental capacity and the dregs of energy that are left to put one foot on the floor and drag myself up. Of course there are days where I don’t even get to sit down during nap time and I’ve enough energy to vacuum, hang the washing out, do the ironing… but on tired days those precious moments of ‘me time’, doing absolutely nothing are like gold-dust.

Once he’s up and in my arms that magical, illusive motherly strength of energy reignites and amidst the squirms and moans, we get a drink, have a snack, play with toys, cuddle, sing anything to get out of the grumpiness of ‘not-ready-to-wake-up-itus’ and this mini-burst of energy give me the patience I need to be mum again.

These are part of the tired days mum’s have. Sometimes from a bad night’s sleep, sometimes from over doing it, sometimes just because life can be overwhelming and busy and it all builds up to this. We all have them and we all get through them. Here I’ve called them ‘tired days’ but could easily call them ‘I’ve put the tea in my cereal and the remote in the fridge days’. Let’s not pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. 🙂 xBx

Rainy Days

The clouds move in, dark, looming, ready to burst and they can mirror exactly how it feels being a mum some days. Here is where I feel I need to write ‘don’t worry I really do love being a mum I love being with my beautiful son all the time’. The truth is I do, of course I do and being a mum to my little one is the best part of me but I’m still me and there are still times when those clouds move in.
We all have days where we just want to curl up and go to sleep, watch crappy tv and eat all the wrong things. It’s important to remember that these days will come, sometimes and for some people they will come thick and fast or slow and steady and this will likely change as you go through life and particularly through mum-hood.
On the days where it rains either physically or emotionally it’s important to remember that there’s nothing wrong with a rainy day. Just as the clouds loom over us, dark and ready to burst, know that they do burst and release out all they are holding in just like a good old cry can do and that release, although you might dread the build up of it all is needed and worth it.
After a rainy day there may well be another rainy day but at any point a warm, sunny and peaceful day is assured to arrive.
Push through the storms and make the most of the sunshine. xBx

Becoming a Mum

Deciding to be a mum happens at very different times for many different women. Some don’t even actively make the choice, it’s made for them.

I can’t quite remember the first time I really thought about being a mum. I remember being a child myself and like many others playing with dolls and pretending to be mummy. I also remember always wanting a family and throughout my teenage years this consumed more of my thoughts than any career did.

I did however, always known I wanted to work with children and loved being around children with their funny little (sometimes very large) characters! So I guess it’s always been there, that I wanted to be a mum myself and that one day I hopefully would be lucky enough to have a little person call me mum.

Like I said, for some women being mum can happen so easily and for others can be a heart breaking journey. One day i’ll share my journey to mun-hood with you but for now I want to share with you a moment that will last with me forever.

A pregnancy test.

Yes i know, not what i thought i’d write about either. Many women will have taken pregnancy tests throughout their fertile years, some wishing for positive, some a negative and some not knowing what the hell to think or look for.

One line, two lines, the words ‘pregnant’ or ‘not pregnant’ they all have different ways of telling you the news. Some are so very faint you find your hopes or fears to make the reading and some are so clear you just can’t doubt it.

Seeing my first ever positive test was the first moment I truly became mum. Those two little lines, one faint the other clear changed my life forever. I was a mum. Yes there was forever to wait and a million things that could happen between that moment and ‘9 months later’ but as far as I was concerned, no matter what was to happen, we had made a little life, I was beginning to grow a little baby and from that very moment I was… mum. xBx

About Me

As a primary school teacher and a mum to a lively toddler I’ve often thought about what my hobbies are. Growing up I loved dance, especially ballet and kept going with it from the age of 4 to 18 when I started university. I even tried a couple of adult classes there but it just wasn’t the same and life became too ‘busy’ to get into it properly. I’ve never been particularly into anything hobby-wise as an adult, I love seeing friends and family but as far as activities I just like being home and pottering around. I often think about what hobbies I’d love to be passionate about, I’d love to be a chef, start sewing amazing creations, become a bookworm, develop creative homemade items but although I do enjoy these things they just don’t end up being a real passion I stick to!
After leaving university I went straight into my career as a primary school teacher. I’ve worked in several schools and developed my career leading in different areas and don’t get me wrong I do love being a teacher. Working with children has always been a passion but I’ve always wondered about other careers and jobs that I’ve never tried or had chance to look into properly. I’ve always thought about writing but I’ve no real qualifications for it and half the time I’ve no idea what to write about. So here it is… I’ve started this blog to write, to start the hobby I’ve always thought about and what better thing to write about than my absolute, life-long passion of being a mum.

Although this blog is for me, to write and share my ups and downs of mum-hood, I hope it’s useful and supportive to others. Being a mum is as amazing as it is hard and at times can be heart-wrenching. Every mum is on her own journey and mums comes in many different forms but every single one is focussed on one thing; trying to be a good mum! xBx