Each day as a parent is so different from the last and you never know what kind of day you’re going to get when you’ve got little ones. If fact… scratch that. Each hour as a parent is so different from the last. We live moment to moment trying to make it through, trying to make the right decisions and trying to make happy memories.
The majority of the time things don’t go to plan and we have to adapt and change things as we go along. Children of any age (some grown ups too) have no concept of timings and things can take forever, like trying to get a coat and shoes on to leave the house. Alternatively a well planned and resourced activity you’ve spent time planning and setting up can be over with in under 2 minutes!!
There’s nothing more frustrating than when things you’ve planned don’t run smoothly and the day to day chores, activities and routines become a hard slog of constantly repeating yourself and feeling like a nag.
The ultimate downside to all this is the impact it has on your mental and physical energy. It’s exhausting when things are constantly changing and you find yourself adapting every little thing along the way. When your little ones repeat the same thing over and over and over again. When you have to make a game out of everything to encourage them to do anything at all.
There is no easy or quick way to fix this but there are some small changes that can help in the day to day.
1. Be organised where you can. Mornings and bedtimes are times of that day that are the most consistent in our house. If I can get the clothes out ready and bags, shoes and coats by the door ready for the morning, get the pyjamas and bath things ready for each night time then I feel like I’ve shaved off a few minutes of chaos int he say. It’s only a small win but small wins add up
2. If it all gets too much and you feel yourself about to blow (there’s no shame in it, we all have times it just gets too much and you need to take 5) don’t forget the advice you would give your child. Count to 10/step away/look out a window/tap each finger…anything that will give you a minute for the adrenaline to stop rising and to ground yourself. It’s not easy but if you’re at that point it’s necessary.
3. Change expectations. It’s always when you have spent time and energy planning a nice activity or day out or planned something with others that it all falls apart and seems to go wrong. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself in those moments. It’s ok if everything doesn’t run smoothly and where children are involved it’s very rare it will ever go as planned. So if you prepare for changes and expect things to adapt it won’t be as frustrating when it happens.
4. Don’t try to do it all. As busy mums we put pressure in ourselves to do everything and make everything perfect. As much as we try we can’t do everything, every day. There might be days your energy levels are higher and you are more motivated to fit more in but not every day. If you planned to tidy up, clean, food shop, build a Lego toy, go to the park, cook a healthy dinner and sort out that overflowing cupboard then prioritise a few of those things, balancing jobs to do and quality time with the children. When rushing from job to job, without realising you are lessening the quality of the time you are with your children as you kind is already in the next task. Slow down, do less jobs but do them better.
5. Remember this is such a short timeline. Something we are all guilty of. Our children won’t stay young forever. Everyone always says it goes so fast and with busy lives it so does. Alongside this heartbreaking fact remember that all the hard things right now won’t last forever either. There won’t be little toys everywhere in a few years time. Yes there will be other difficult things that drain you mentally and physically but they will be different. We learn to deal with them as they come.
Life can be so draining and some days it’s just too much. I know, I’ve had a fair few of them too recently. But make the most of the days you are motivated and don’t be hard on yourself for the days the burnout is high.
Being Mum, Being Me 